|Posted by [email protected] on September 3, 2020 at 9:25 AM||comments (0)|
Do you remember what it felt like to be a child at Christmas time? Perhaps this new pen pal project could make this feeling real for a few lonely seniors living in a nearby nursing home.
It's really a simple genius idea, as interested WGOG's could easily write and reach out to let that person know they are special. I know I would love to receive a note if cooped up in a nursing home without family or friends allowed to visit.
If you would like to spread cheer to a fellow senior, I ask you to take out a pen and paper right now to write an anonymous note about yourself. It's not difficult coming up with something to say; where you live, your age and family, your interests/hobbbies and why you're writing to them.
I'll send them to the activity director at a local nursing home where would match a person to you.
They say that well-being is a matter of doing what you can do for another person and how you use your time. Since we certainly all have some spare moments, perhaps it does well for each of us to think about somebody who could use a gentle touch from a stranger-turned-friend who cares to check on them.
Please think about doing this small thing and get in touch with me to take this on as a volunteer project, easily done from home and on your own schedule. I thank you and so do does your new pen pal!
|Posted by [email protected] on August 31, 2020 at 11:30 AM||comments (0)|
For most of us, what we’ve done to earn a living defines us. But let me ask you if you can redefine "aging" and “senior” and think of retirement as a trip of discovery to determine who you are and who you want to become?
Understandably, it’s how you approach your retirement, how you respond to your retirement, how you behave in retirement, how you handle retirement, and ultimately, how you live in retirement that is really up to you. Being acknowledged and paid attention to bolsters a chief sense that we count and know someone cares.
Otherwise, you may be silently asking yourself “Where will I fit and where will I be accepted?” It is the combination of everything that you have learned and the various things that you have done that make you truly different from everyone else on this planet.
We’ve all experienced it when the end of a career and the beginning of retirement triggers major changes in personal identity. This time of new concern, interests and challenges asks you step outside of your comfort zone to develop new meaningful relationships. Although retirement doesn’t change who you are, it will transform what you can do.
You are now free as a retiree, to spend as much time as you like on what makes you happy. Using your time wisely, dipping your toes into lots of different activities and experiences, you should be able to determine what you really want to be doing next.
You only have one life. Some things will work; some won’t. but you have the duty to live it the way you see fit. Does everyone always do what is easy for them? Probably not. I can bet they need to stretch beyond their comfort zone and do exciting things in order to stay ahead of the game.
By building confidence and preparing for a good fit can help re-claim any missing sense of purpose. This is your grand opportunity to finally get to know your true self, your essence, and invent ways to express it safely.
Along with positive steps to take, you've got skills to carry with you to make choices that resonate in your heart. where you won’t have to fear what’s next, and you certainly don’t have to worry about losing your identity.
You’re special, just the way you are today.
|Posted by [email protected] on August 23, 2020 at 12:10 AM||comments (0)|
Personal satisfaction comes at a premium to me during this time of solitude. I am proud to announce that I have come across a productive way of working on hunches and bits of intuition in one simple morning practice called “my morning pages”. Here, I would like to share a great way to get the day started and will show how easy it can be done. At least, I think so.
Actually, I believe I’m truly trying to show myself a worthy person by writing up to three pages of random daily thoughts, hoping it will affect some positive changes. It is not like writing a “to-do” list, nor is it like creating and ongoing diary. Simply writing down unplanned concepts has helped me find a healthier focus and presents newer ways to explore what needs paying attention to.
While writing my pages, it becomes easy to include daily commentaries about the COVID virus and its wrath upon humans, as well as the political climate and upcoming presidential election, kids going back to school and other local news items. Then, there’s the part where I’m actually motivating myself, telling self to do something that needs to happen, despite trying to put it off.
Habits can be somewhat difficult to manage, although this particular writing exercise seems a safe challenge. At least there is now plenty of time to sit and think. By slowing down and being more mindful, a positive outcome of this pandemic is that it has sparked images for future direction. In other words, I can “step up” to a greater independent-like frame of mind because these morning pages spur me on.
I’m delighted as open up to the morning light, drink a savory cup of coffee and consider needed changes, hand write some spur of the moment thoughts to these new silent partners. With renewed optimism and a greater sense of purpose in each new day, I have found this exercise to be a daily bonus.
Perhaps you might wish to try out this new tool, too.
Jaye Wurtzel 8-23-20
|Posted by [email protected] on August 18, 2020 at 1:10 PM||comments (0)|
We walk out of that retirement door and BOOM. What the heck happened? I'd like to help you enjoy those precious few hours of the morning to get closer to what's important to you during your retirement and even make possible changes.
My story is about empowering seniors. Because of Covid 19 and it's restrictions to our well-being and happiness, I have developed a new Morning Make Over program. This will allow for possible re-thinking and make the most of your mornings, with person-to person follow up and a possible ZOOM workshop.
I have taken this on as a means to assist gal pals who are be facing some hard stressful times during this pandemic, and hope to bring some sunshine into a few lives.
There is no charge for this seven day program and I hope it will make a difference in addressing specific or potentially unsolved issues.
I will greet you in the morning for 7 days to bring morning cheer and motivation. If there's enough interest, this may incude an online class, offered on this page. All tools and strategies suggested will be geared toward helping you move forward, instead of staying stuck.
All you need to do by the end of this week:
Step 1: Contact me, Jaye Wurtzel @[email protected]
Step 2: Send your phone number and email address (even if you think I have it)
Step 3: Tell me a brief story, such as where you might be stuck as a retiree or ask questions of concern. When you hear from me, I will ask you to pick that one issue you'd like to gain a greater perspective on, kick in the gutter, or move past in some manner.
I’m prepared to email daily information, tips, or strategies for your own morning make over to the first 5 ladies who respond. Again, this will be implemented for one week, free, and just for you.
|Posted by [email protected] on August 15, 2020 at 8:20 PM||comments (0)|
Now that we’re pretty much stuck at home with much all the free time in the world, have managed household chores and taken care of that proverbial junk drawer, there is a creative potential awaiting all of us.
We’ve probably already checked out the photobooks of our family and friends adventures and have either managed time in the garden and have watched the wildlife playing in the trees. Creatively speaking, you may have already completed that knitted cardigan to that uncompleted needlework project that you’ve been meaning to get to.
One important clue to well-being is to recognize a motivation slump for what it is if it is happening to you. After feeling it myself and talking to other women, I believe it’s only natural to feel down in the dumps on some days, looking about our blurry world in this time of social isolation.
Too much to do, too little energy and not enough time? Or is it not enough to do, depleted energy yet plenty of time? Or is it just too little energy and loneliness which brings about a down feeling for many?
There are of course things you can do to re-energize, once you have self-diagnosed the problem.
This may seem obvious (unless it’s not happening to you) but there is a big difference between trying to force yourself to do something and being motivated. Willpower can only take you so far, but I want to tell you that
the days you don’t want to, are the days you absolutely have to!
A slump is no different than any other setback or obstacle in life and the best way to deal with it is straight on. I would suggest that you acknowledge your feelings about a possible struggle with motivation and create a trigger and a way of reminding you of the reason for pursuing it in the first place.
Pay Attention to What You’re Saying to Yourself. Self-talk is likely going on in your head right this minute and it can have a huge effect on your body and mind. Don’t expect others to encourage you, but encourage yourself with a generous dose of compassion and positive self-talk.
Surround Yourself with Success I am especially drawn to stories of girlfriends who inspire us to grow by sharing their stories and appreciating the challenges put to them.
Celebrate Small Wins Every day you stick to your goal is a small win, hang in there for a full week and that’s a milestone! Not only does it feel good to celebrate your progress, but it helps to keep you pumped up and energized on those less-than-motivated days.
Take Action. Now. Slow is okay, just keep going and work on building momentum. The whole point is to just do something. Every. Single. Day.
Don’t wait. Start right now.
|Posted by [email protected] on August 11, 2020 at 2:15 PM||comments (0)|
“I have had such a full life, 2 marriages, children, grandchildren, several careers and businesses, all on my own terms. I have traveled extensively. I love my life! But lately I have been feeling a bit despondent. I am 67 and fully retired, and life seems to have come to a dead stop. Never have I been without goals or dreams and it's disconcerting. Every day is the same...pleasant, peaceful, no worries or complaints, surrounded by people I love. I just don't seem to have passion. So I'm seeking for the next BIG idea or dream.”
These comments from a retired woman sound familiar, don’t they? Perhaps it could have come from any one or all of us at the same time in life.
Perhaps this is a great time to redefine or review, by staying still and listening to personal needs. This is your one and only life and may be a convenient time to make a new assessment.
There’s just one thing that we cannot change. Time. It is the constant and it is up to each of us to either take advantage of it or shut ourselves down. Time will either promote you or expose you.
One of the great challenge is figuring out how to recover some of what you’ve lost — including daily interaction with colleagues and the ability to do something you’re good at — and combine it with the newfound freedom you have.
When newly retired and moving toward a life of leisure and fun, one certainly becomes more like a spectator than participant. If you’re in the early stages of retirement and feeling somewhat lost, you’re not alone. Many retirees find the transition can be difficult, as adjustment is necessary from work-to-retirement.
It would appear what passions you might love to pursue and the things that you love to do every day will allow for a greater a sense of worth and fulfillment. Indeed. It is probably that constant desire, curiosity and understanding in the importance of moving forward which leads us to build the life we have always dreamed of.
For others, however, it may be harder than expected to find activities they are good at and make them happy. It is not so straightforward for everyone after 30 to 40 years of work to find out possibilities for where to develop their talents and use their experience to feel needed and that they can still make a difference.
The more than 70 million baby boomers that will begin to retire in the next decade will transform the notion of retirement and will force a rethinking of what retirement means and how people will live their lives.
These numbers force us to identify those critical factors that will define a "healthy" retirement. Counseling psychologist Nancy K. Schlossberg, EdD, came up a way to get people to think of retirement as a career change]]not only are you leaving something, you are about to begin something new.
In a study of 100 retirees, Dr. Schlossberg found that retirement is not one, but many transitions; the extent to which work has been satisfying and the degree to which retirement is planned are two factors.
Her study also found that the timing of retirement, the level in which a meaningful life is established, one's health and sense of financial security were additional reasons which assisted in the transition.
Ladies in our Women Growing Older Gracefully group sessions have a firm understanding of how the well-being theory works; one which measures positive emotion, engagement, meaning, positive relationships and accomplishment. Many agree the following steps an hel with beginning a retired life:
• Structure Your Days. The joy of retirement is that you’ll have plenty of opportunities to experiment. It’s up to you to design the type of day—and kind of life—that you want to live , with the expectations one has about retirement....
• Set Small Goals. Working on goals can give you a sense of purpose.3 And accomplishing new things can give you a sense of achievement
• Grow Your Friendships. Check out any programs offered at your church or a local community center or find a group of like-minded individuals who share an affection for your favorite hobby, whether it’s golf, crafts or cooking.
• Consider a part time job. Who says that retirement from one job has to mean leaving the workforce entirely? Research finds that retirees who got a “bridge” job, another term for this type of work, are often in better health, both mentally and physically, and report higher degrees of satisfaction.
• Create a new budget for activities and interests. For example, theclothing budget that you always spent on business clothes can go out the window, but you might need to add in a category for membership dues for a variety of organizations that you wish to join. Create a budget that will help you see how much money you have for entertainment or fun.
Flexibility in setting new goals is perhaps one of the best ways to figure out a stress-less way to retire. You will have plenty of opportunities to experiment, and it’s up to you to design the type of day—and kind of life—that you want to live.
When asked about what she liked about retirement, a friend told me “Being my own boss. Spending time the way my husband and I chose. Acting on a whim and answering to no one. Laughing at something every day. Enjoying the company of those we cherish and letting go of things that no longer seem to matter. Freedom!”
|Posted by [email protected]m on August 8, 2020 at 4:45 PM||comments (0)|
Sounds great, but since we live in the real world, can you take charge of your life when you’re already up to your eyeballs with the Covid virus and all its inconveniences?
After all, you can’t meet with friends and family as you have in the past. There’s no church, no volunteer work, no spa or swim in the public pool, no lunch dates, attending sports events or enjoying movies and theatre. not even school for the children.
Online connections can only go so far.
Many seem okay with adjusting to the “new normal, for now, but we’re still struggling with nerves to make sense to these unprecedented changes to lifestyle and its threats to this economy and our own safe keeping.
Some have chosen to “let it go” and not be concerned about being cooped up. They feel it is not dreadful, after all, and would rather slow down at home, staying busy. Others have trouble adapting and can turn out to be lonely and forgotten.
We’re all different, and life goes on, whether you do or not. Since we have the power to choose our own way, a larger challenge seems to be whether you choose to take charge of your life or will allow the winds of fate to take charge for you.
Taking on a band of courage may call for a few personal changes during these stressful periods. Today may be a marvelous point in time to stay more focused. It will not only help you retain your vitality and stamina, but better outcomes will occur in spite of this pandemic. You might ask:
1. What are you doing with all your extra time? Are you binge-watching Netflix or Disney+, creating art, writing, sleeping?
2. How are you keeping up with your social activities, friends, relationships?
3. How are you feeling about the world and how it has changed because of the pandemic?
Designing your best life is a powerful concept. The roadmap will look a little different for everyone as each must follow their own unique path. Coach John Wooden, in his book, The Pyramid of Success, developed four blocks to success; self-control, alertness, initiative, and intentness. He stressed the importance of self-control and said, "practice self-discipline and keep emotions under control. Good judgment and common sense are essential."
So, remember to be kind to yourself. In the meantime, here’s to living and loving your new resilient life! May it serve you well!
|Posted by [email protected] on August 1, 2020 at 9:20 AM||comments (0)|
It's a lazy afternoon and I simply wanted to express a few thoughts and, hopefully, identify who we are as "prime timers" in this newly coined term for retired folk.
We are women, we nourish, we give life, and are often satisfied, sitting on the sidelines, making sure that those we love are healthy and happy. And that’s ok, as long as we can remember not to stray too far off the path of self-care, self-significance and self-importance.
After all, we have earned the right to live a life of ease and can now make it our time for self-indulgence and accomplishment of our dreams.
First, I’d like to point out a great book, written by Jeff Olson, which has helped me develop new ways of thinking, to re-bound and re-create a new approach to retired living. Using simple principles The Slight Edge, written for the general public, has served to keep me motivated during this Covid pandemic and has literally moved me off the couch to make some new decisions.
I'm actually trying, here, to lead you to setting yourself up with some quiet time with yourself. It might do to relax with a cup of tea and tackle a few of the following questions on your own time. Some may feel this isn’t important and some may have already answered these questions over and over again. Nevertheless, these moments are a great time to turn inward, so here goes:
1. If you’re going to live to 80, 90, 100 or more, what can you accomplish? And what do you need to plan for? Really now, twenty to thirty or more years is a long time to sit and do practically nothing.
2. How can you make certain you’re living life to the fullest? You might begin to think and write about your greatest talents that you can put to use. This is important.
3. What are the moments from life that define you and make you the person others want to get to know and hang around with? Are you becoming a more capable person, one more interesting and valuable to be around?
4. What are some of the opportunities you have found which make retirement as fulfilling as you had hoped it would be? Are you learning new skills and sharpening old ones?
5. The way you eat, the way you exercise, the way you take care of yourself- are all these building a greater feeling of health and vibrancy each day?
Perhaps if someone asked me to answer all of these questions in one sitting, I would probably tell them to take a hike. Nevertheless, I put them out here to stir up “the works”, and if they bring reflection, then these questions have served their purpose. No one will be watching you or will hold out the whip but you might find new inspiration by answering.
A word of warning; if you believe that your life will slow down and capabilities will diminish as you get older, then that’s exactly what will happen. On the brighter side, a new life as a “prime-timer” lies ahead and is waiting for you to grab and take off!
|Posted by [email protected] on July 24, 2020 at 9:30 AM||comments (0)|
Is the idea of being whole an elusive goal? If this is so, why are we so much at odds with ourselves and why are we haunted by having a so called "unlived life"? Is is because we're cooped up with this virus and can't move about? Perhaps it's because we've become soured by the shoulda-woulda-couldas and now have time to wonder about the way we want life to go.
Certainly, we’ve been given several opportunities to blossom in our lives. I believe that in aging gracefully, it can also be described as a time to be dangerous; dangerously fun loving, dangerously honest and dangerously alive. Whatever we are needed for, we can do. Whatever must be said, we can say it.
This is not a time to remember that ”we are getting older”, as if getting older were the curse of the damned. This is the time to do most everything we can possibly do, given the restrictions the virus has wrought.
All of us have accumulated a “story” about who we are and what we’re supposed to do and not do. This is a perfect time to live with strength, as now it is time to spend time well, within ourselves.
I believe each one of us is longing to create an adventure, away from the doldrums, as not being able to go very far is crippling. And why is an adventure important? First of all, a life of boredom can literally and figuratively kill us. They say that boredom will "seek out our souls and damage our psyches". Whether this is actually true, I do know that adventure is the opposite of boring, and that adventure is never giving up and always moving forward.
I am certainly ready to jump and move forward, as there seem to be a few times when I could tear out my hair in desperation. So here we are. Stuck inside our homes, so the best I can figure is to make some adventures from wihting. Some things will work; some won’t. Digging deeper, inside, we can certainly become better equipped to work on and improve ourselves, right?
In Brene Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection”, she says, “The world needs more people who have come alive. Since we all have gifts and talents to share with the world, it’s by cultivating them that brings meaning and what becomes meaningful is up to each unique person". She also warns that if we don’t use what we’ve been given, we will most likely pay for it emotionally and physically. "You are now free as a retiree to spend as much time as you like on what makes you happy".
A new adventure would certainly make me both strong and happy. Giving up and being a pessimist during this time is not okay, because those who challenge their minds and bodies live longer, have a better quality of life and are more mentally alert than those watching TV.
By using your time to dip your toes into lots of different activities and experiences, you'll more than likely be able to figure out what works and what doesn't while self- isolating and re-inventing a new self. And then, when this Covid mess is over, this re-imagined person will surely be ready for new adventures to come forth!
|Posted by [email protected] on July 19, 2020 at 1:35 PM||comments (0)|
I need to thank friends who recently responded with thoughts about the best part of retirement. Everyone agreed it was with the feeling of freedom and aliveness which was their number one response.
As we have or are about to valiantly move forward and break out of the work cocoon, we will naturally take on new risks to relate and watch our true colors re-appear.
Isn't it true that most of us have spent a near lifetime battling in the workplace as captive, with pressure not to act, speak, or think without causing a problem ?
It is said that boredom will seek out our souls and damage our psyches. Perhaps retired life should be described as a time to be dangerous; dangerously fun loving, dangerously honest and dangerously alive.
Certainly, we’ve been given many opportunities to blossom in our lives, and retirement is not different, so there should be nothing to hold us back from enjoying ourselves to the hilt.
Whatever we are needed for, we can do. Whatever must be said, we can say it. Aside from this pandemic, I hope we'll still find time to go the family that waits for us and to strangers that need us.
With the newly found sense of independence and freedom, there is light for a higher quality of life and a time to live with strength Now it is simply time to spend time, well managed.
This is a time to become inwardly aware of ourselves and consider how we've treated others, to reconnect and re-visit forgotton memories.
This is the time to do most everything we can possibly do with all of life we can bring into it and not a time to be reminded that we are getting older.
And why are new adventures so important? For one thing, a life of boredom can literally and figuratively kill us. Adventure is never giving up, always moving forward and overcoming fear and become stronger.
Adventure is sometimes getting injured, yet wounds heal and we go forward again because giving up is not in our vocabulary. Research validates that those who challenge their minds and bodies live longer and have a better quality of life.
In Brene Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection”, she says, “The world needs more people who have come alive. Since we all have gifts and talents to share with the world, it’s by cultivating them that brings meaning, and what becomes meaningful is up to each unique person".
She also warns that if we don’t use what we’ve been given, we will most likely pay for it emotionally and physically. "You are now free as a retiree to spend as much time as you like on what makes you happy."
We have all accumulated our stories about who we are and what we’re supposed to do and not do.Some tactics will work and some won’t.
You only have one life, so it's important to dig deep to find a certain level of pride and commitment. Use time as a vehicle, to dip your toes into lots of different activities and experiences. Perhaps then we will more than likely be able to figure out this thing called retirement.
Stereotypes be damned.
Growing Older with Grace sessions help redefine aging and challenge traditional approaches by asking seniors to make wise choices and continue to lead productive, gratifying lives. Workshops and webinars have been are designed to address nutrition, physical and mental fitness, community links, lifelong learning, health and spirituality, social relationships, leisure time, recreations skills, and self-empowerment. Jaye Wurtzel is their Organizer and Group Retirement Coach.