Women Growing  Older Gracefully 

As a retiree, there’s something that has been bothering me and I would like to figure it out. I sometimes wonder why some retirees appear to be living in a kind of social wilderness, a place where they have abandoned hope for finding new friends. Perhaps it’s a simple matter to make some decisions. Perhaps not.

One woman put it this way: “Retirement is a perfect occasion worth celebrating. It is one such those fabulous times when you are free from responsibilities and you start living for yourself. It is simply a phase in which you have enough time for yourself, and to enjoy every minute of it; no deadlines to complete, no alarms to wake you up or no burden to take care of”.

Retirement does come with mixed feelings, however. It seems sad, knowing you will not be going to the office to see the colleagues and friends that were (believe it or not) “thrust” upon you before. I guess you could say that some “centering” becomes lost and it may become difficult to imagine what to expect from a new life. And, the loss of people you have known as buddies can be a severe blow..

It’s interesting to note that if the old group of friends don’t suit you as they once did, spending more time with a new one can help pull you in the direction you want to go. The great challenge is figuring out how to recover some of what you’ve lost —the ability to do something you’re good at — and combine it with the newfound freedom you have

No one said that it would be easy, as there seems to be a vast wilderness of people to meet and personal choices that can be made. I’ve found that women tell me they feel out of practice and out of step to start friendships with like-minded adults, as in church, volunteer groups, going to free events and with our WGOG members. Then, there are websites, books, and communities that bring connectedness, as well as other seniors.

When you check it out, you might reconstruct some behavior according to what may have kept you from moving forward in earlier times. Some pointers include the importance of establishing mutual understanding, belief patterns and values in a new relationship. People tend to evaluate you by who you are, first and then by what you say. One needs to listen well and if a matter escalates, it is best to re-visit the subject at another time.

Whatever your “thing” is, someone reminded me it’s time to listen to your own personal needs. She wrote, “This is your one and only life which has been frenzied up until now. There comes a time when you can choose what you do every day, even if some day is absolutely nothing. It takes time to re-group in your head and heart. Enjoy the ride.”

The same goes for creating new adventures. One thought is sure; by living the second half of your life with increased vigor with a new social beginning that fit your lifestyle, it’s your job to make this life the best new life you possibly can!