Lonely or Alone?

Posted by [email protected] on January 28, 2020 at 3:05 PM

It appears that the older I get, the easier it becomes to slow down once in awhile, take a breath as I relish knowing some wonderful friends. I cherish them as they have become quite important to me. Yet, today it was seemingly better for me not to go out to lunch with them, but to stay inside, by self. I hope they understood that. I guess you might say it’s a matter of slowing down to speed up and a little self indulgence and rest was called for.

Unfortunately, I also believe it can become the plight of retired’s,  for who choose to sit at home alone most of the time, to easily fall prey to face periods of sadness or depression if this kind of isolation becomes routine. This may have been the case several years ago, yet knowing now that being lonely and alone made for a bleak living, a change to a more positive attitude, coupled with the desire to befriend wonderful people , has made big difference in my outlook on life.

Many will argue with the prospect that being alone is always a bad thing. In my opinion baby boomers are known to reach and burst the bubble about expected behaviors of retired people. Unfortunately, it  appears that alla retired  person was expected to do was to sit in the rocker and watch TV .  And, yes. It’s important to make time for solitude, to give yourself space to reflect or to make new social connections and find some meaning. But it's not Ok to sit in solitude and become weepy, afraid and depressed because you choose to isolate yourself. There's a big difference between the two.

I’m certainly not here to admonish those persons who choose to remain hidden and not participate in the workings of their community or decide not to socialize. Obvious reasons for withdrawal vary; health or money issues, family and work responsibilities, shyness or even being scared to meet. 

It has been said that the ability to make productive use of our own company triggers even more creativity by helping us tap into our thoughts and our own inner worlds. A decision  to cuddle up with a good book or work on some project, instead, of going out is certainly an acceptable..

Actually, it’s a personal choice and a matter of being able to create a symmetry, using both introvert and extrovert personas, and keeping tabs for whether a person should step up to make new friends or be alone, but not isolated. Balancing both worlds to become more intentional about your needs and wants is the critical decision to make. It’s never too late and it’s certainly fine when one declares what their heart and mind knows what’s right for them.

You’re a big girl, so know that  either can be OK.


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